Thinking about this at a time when I am less pissed off with the world, I realised that this should take us back to Moodle's social constructionst roots.
Where we hit one of these difficult problem, then we as the Moodle community need to learn the answer by talking to each other. Now, there are two cases here:
1. If it is an issue that I, or the OU, cares about, then I will be motivated to start a forum thread, and moderate a discussion the reaches a consensus that I am happy to implement (or alternatively give up my plans if a consensus cannot be reached.)
2. If it is some issue that has come to me as Quiz moderator, and I am only trying to fix it because I and the OU are nice people, and then I hit one of these problems, then I probably don't have the time or motivation to get a consensus.
2b. It is particularly irritating when I have already made a patch which I think falls into the "90% of tasks should not have that uncertainty, and to experienced moodle devs i'd argue they don't" situation, and it is only the integrator who thinks there is a problem.
In case 2. I think it has to be someone at Moodle HQ who facilitates the consensus building, becuase that is where the buck stops for problems that no-one else cares about.
I think it is under-using the power of the community to expect the integrators to solve these problems behind closed doors. It is likely to be better all round to discuss them in the general developer forum.
Of course, there are other, simpler issues, like coding style, where just getting the integrators to decide is the right solution, but the kind of policy decisions we are considering here are nuclear reactors, not bike sheds.